Posted: August 12, 2014 in Uncategorized
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transformation definition

It took a person who seemed to be someone I never wanted to be, to help me find the person I am now. – Hasina (Transformation)

I return the letter to the envelope and slip it into my file. It has been my talisman since the day Waseem gave it to me. I am nervous sitting in the common room of the art studio. I try my best to act natural as art students float in and out of the room. There are some outrageous people making a personal art statement with their body and dressing, and then there are some average people, you would pass in a shopping mall and not look twice at. I am the additional variable thrown in to the equation as a muslim Hijabi, yet strangely, I don’t feel out of place.

My phone buzzes and I take it out to check. There are several text messages.

Suhayl : Hey pops. Hope it goes well. Thinking of you.

Waseem : Your art thing is today right? Let me know how it goes.

Yusuf: slms. did you get there ok? Call me when you done. good luck Picasso. J

I smile to myself warmed by the overwhelming support. I can’t believe that not so long ago i felt as if my world was falling apart. Suhayl has just moved in with us after his 3 months at rehab and Yusuf has decided to join him for his weekly sessions. Waseem and the family visit every weekend and Jameela and Bilal can’t get enough of their cousins. The biggest change has been me, though. I feel like a different woman, no – I am a different woman.

My feelings can best be compared to the weight loss flyers I have often seen around with before and after photos of massive weightloss. On the one end is a picture of an unusually large woman and the other end is a slim version of that woman, usually in a bikini holding up her old pair of pants that she manages to fit herself and the rest of her family into. No I didn’t lose a massive amount of weight, but I feel like a weight has been lifted that has been weighing me down.

Maybe it was getting married at such a young age or becoming a mother so quickly that made me lose sight of myself and who I was. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful family, but taking on full domestic responsibilities at the age of 19, not to mention a mother in law from hell, that really took a toll on my dreams.But actually most of the new Hasina can be attributed to one person. Farnaz.

It took a person who seemed to be someone I never wanted to be, to help me find the person I am now.

A week after her visit when she dropped of the documents, I had gone to her office to give her the dua for conception. She had been on her way out to lunch and she invited me along. We had coffee the next week and slowly it seems we have become tangled up in each others lives. Me calling after every doctors appointment, and her bugging to see each new piece I do.

Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted and I become aware of a pair of feet walking towards me and the nervousness kicks in.

“The panel is ready for you” says the young lady tasked with the job of coming to get me. This is my first showing to the panel after weeks of tutorials. The panel is made up of people from the art school and a representative of an art gallery, who chooses one piece from the school to exhibit in the show. I try to swallow my nervousness and get up. “Follow me, Mrs Vally” she says as she turns and walks back towards the door. I get up , take a deep breath. I have as much talent as anybody else in the class. Although I try not to get my hopes up, I wonder how great it would be to have my pieces in a gallery.


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