CHAPTER 20 (continued)

Posted: August 5, 2014 in Uncategorized
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transformation definition

The sight of my mother in law in her apron is scary. I can’t believe she even owns an apron. Her make up is impeccable and her gold scarf does not have, even a tassle out of place, yet from the neck down – who is this woman? Her hands are covered in cake batter, and she has flour up to her forearms. It appears she has been baking…in MY kitchen. My inner chachima lifts her sleeves and gets ready for battle.

When she looks up it is clear she is equally surprised to find me here. “er.. Hasina. Er. Salaam Alaikum” she says clearly rattled. I do not reply. What the hell is happening? I wonder.

“Sorry Hasina, er, I didn’t even hear you get back” she struggles. “I tried to phone here all morning, there was no answer” she explains. I still say nothing. My inner Chachima folds her hands across her chest and waits for her to dig her own grave.

“my oven just gave up today and I need to bake for the ladies fundraiser tomorrow for the orphanage…when I couldn’t get hold of you I called Yusuf…He said I could come over” she is mumbling now, ..thought you’ll fetch the kids first”

I don’t think I ever saw her like this before. She is … embarrassed!

I finally decide to put her out of her misery and speak, “My class ended early, so I came home first”

“SO sorry Hasina about this. It’s just that I bought these premixes and thought it will be easy, but then I realized my oven wasn’t heating up. Samira’s busy baking her stuff so she said I must phone you.”

Elizabeth walks in with Jeanett, my mother in laws house keeper. “Don’t worry” she says as Jeanette starts to gather her mess, “Jeanette will sort the mess out”. She begins to shout out instructions to Jeanette as they both start a frenzy of clearing up. My mother in law lends her housekeeper a hand, possibly to avoid any further communication with me.

I watch silently the scene going on in my kitchen. I wonder how the tables shifted without my effort and my inner chachima looks at my mother in law with compassion. I am reminded of Suhails words of regret at the Rehab Centre.

“I always thought it was not the right time, or that there will be another opportunity. But now I realize that anytime is the right time and you should do what is in your heart, because Allah has put there for you as a sign”, that is what he said. How wise my young brother has become.

I walk towards my mother in law.

“What are you baking?” I ask her. She looks up and I see gratitude in her eyes.

“I bought this chocolate muffin premix and these frozen batters”, she said showing me the packages, “but you know me and baking” she says and actually laughs and her laugh is inviting.

“The orphanages fundraiser is tomorrow and…” she stops suddenly. Choosing her words carefully she says, “your mother always did the baking for it and her stuff was always a treat”

Her words hang in the air.

“The ladies will really miss her this year” my mother in law continued, “and all her wonderful baking, I think im making a mess out of it”, she says clearly distressed.

I think of Suhails words again. “How many people are you expecting?” I ask. She looks at me hopefully and answers.

“Ok” I say calculatingly. “I have to pick up the kids soon, but if we rush we can have most of it done before that”.

She doesn’t say anything and I don’t expect her to. The look of gratitude on her face is enough. I don’t expect this to change our relationship entirely or even a little bit. I am doing this for me. Because this is who I want to be.

baking mess


  1. Did I tell you this week – I love your writings!! Waiting for more!!

  2. A says:

    Really enjoying ur blog

  3. Masha’Allah sister, a great read with a beautiful message! ❤

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