CHAPTER 19 (Continued)

Posted: August 2, 2014 in Uncategorized

transformation definition

Sometimes the harder things are, the more you seem to want it – Farnaz Transformation

She isn’t what I expected. She is not the same doctor I see usually. She is a fertility specialist. When she introduces herself, my anxiety peaks, why do I need a fertility specialist? I think, just as Hussain echos my thoughts out loud. Dr. Rehana’s manner warms the cold clinical room, as she explains why she has been given my case. Hussain and I nod as she explains about maternal age, cervix competency and uterine wall strengthening.

“Doctor Klaws asked me to review your case, since I have experience with uterine wall strengthening in pre-conception”, she pauses trying to read our reactions. Her face softens once more and then she says, “I have had patients with a similar history to yours. I have studied hormone therapy for the treatment of uterine detachment and implement it with them”, she hands us both a pamphlet. “The information is all detailed in here”, she says as we both page and skim through it.

I take a moment to look through it. There are anatomical diagrams of the uterus and graphic representation of what hormone therapy is about. I am still making sense of it, when Hussain begins his questions. He clearly is not going to bother reading this pamphlet or try to make sense of the diagrams.

“What is the success rate?” – “What is the procedure?”,- “Are there any side effects?” – “What are the other options?” – “How are the hormones introduced?” – “When do you know if it is working?” … Hussain’s logic and analytical brain bombarbs the doctor with questions. I am thankful that one of us is thinking straight. I, on the other hand, cannot tear my eyes from the picture on the pamphlet. It is a curled up baby in the womb of her mother, attached only by the umbilical cord and surrounded by this sac of safety.

It’s a sheer miracle, I think. There is no other way to describe it, and I think about Zaheera who announced her pregnancy at the coffee shop over a month ago. Does she know how lucky she is? Do any of them?

Doctor Rehana answers each of Hussains questions expertly and I listen. It all makes perfect sense to me. “When can we start?” I ask suddenly.

Hussain looks at me and we share a rare moment of telepathy. He wants this too. I can feel it.

“We need to discuss your blood test results first because it impacts on the hormone treatment-“ I cut her off, “Am I a candidate?” I ask curiously. “Yes, but” she pauses. I feel my insides contract as I wait for her response.

She pulls out a paper from my file and puts it on the table in front of us. Hussain and I both lean forward.

“Here” she points to some circled numbers, “…are the red flags”

“Your LH – Luteinizing hormone – is low. The LH causes the secretion of oestogen and oestrogen gets the uterus lining ready for pregnancy” I nod.

“ok so we can fix that right?” I ask.

She smiles sweetly, but it is a false smile. “Look – she opens one of those pamphlets she gave us and points to one of the diagrams. “LH causes oestrogen, oestrogen gets the uterus ready. When oestrogen levels rise up to here” she points to a thermometer type illustration, “The egg is released. This is ovulation”.

I understand now what she means. I am not ovulating. SO besides the fact that my Uterus is weak, I can’t even release a freaking egg, I think.

“But, you can alter LH levels and check for ovulation” Hussain says confidently. I am shocked and I look at him with an open mouth. He continues, “I read that synthetic LH can cause oestrogen to raise, and then we can get a saliva ovulation test to test for ovulation” he pauses and then adds” I just read that in the magazine in the waiting room” he says. So THAT is what he was reading. I smile inwardly.

“Yes, that is correct” , the doctor confirms. We have to make sure you are ovulating first, before we can begin to increase oestrogen levels to stabilize the uterus.

She explains that procedure and answers our questions. Hussain and I both sit back finally. My brain is full of new information.

There is a knock on the door, we all look at it at the same time. Nurse Julian is standing there, “Im so sorry to bother you doctor” she says, “You said to call you when Mrs. Harding is here”

“Yes, Yes” Doctor Rehana says getting up. “Im sorry , will you  excuse me for a moment? I will not be long, she says as she walks out.”


Alone with Hussain, it’s my turn to let out a heavy sigh.

“Nazi?” he says my name questioning. I know what he is asking, and there can only be one answer.

A smile creeps on to my face and that is all he needs. “Are you sure?” he asks and I can see he is trying to hide his excitement.

“Yes”, I say with all the conviction I can muster. “Lets do thi s.”




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