Posted: June 10, 2014 in Uncategorized



I hate lying to her. She knew I was lying. But what could I do? HE called me. I wasn’t going to do it again, but HE called me. How could I refuse? I had no other choice. Drugs consumes you, You think you are in control of it, but its only when you are hopelessly lost that you realize that it was in control of you.

The work excuse seemed to do the trick for my mother, but I know Hasina wasn’t convinced. The other day she nearly caught on when I slipped up about Moosa’s wife. I’m just glad I remembered about her being at her mothers. It’s the reason Moosa gave when he declined the invitation to the party. I couldn’t let Hasina find out just yet. But I DID want to tell her. My mind has been so conflicted this pass week. Should I? Shouldn’t I? The questions kept going through my head. I almost did. I don’t know what I was thinking. That was really bad timing. Maybe it’s because I feel so guilty that it just burst out of me. I knew she suspected something. All week she has been acting strangely. This morning…it was so clear that she knew something was wrong. I couldn’t tell her then, not with the children around. I shudder now when I think about earlier. I was just suppose to tell her that I wanted to talk to her and the words just flew out of my mouth. I cant believe I told her that I went to Westpark! I cant imagine what she must be thinking. Stupid! Stupid! I scolded myself. Jeez how did everything go so wrong so quickly. Tonight…now…. I need to make sure that I have everything under control before I tell her everything, and I WILL tell her everything.

After the other night I hoped that it was just a once-off. But when he called me now… I was almost expecting it, I hated lying to Hasina. Hating it didn’t stop me from doing it. I couldn’t tell her. I promised I wouldn’t. I know she suspects something. I could see it in her eyes before I left. Her emerald green eyes turns a smokey grayish green when she is angry. I saw her anger, but more than that I saw the hurt in her eyes. “Trust me Hasina” I whispered to myself uneasily. I knew where I was headed now and I needed to trust myself.


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